Life’s Crossroads

Have you ever come to a crossroads in your life and not known which branch to take? They all seemed about the same at the time but in retrospect they were about the same as night and day.

So, what to do, you ask? Beats the heck out of me, I can’t answer for anyone else but myself. Making wise decisions was never my forte when I was younger and I’ve only got smarter as a result of repeatedly taking the wrong road. Taking short cuts seemed to be the easier, softer way, and they were fun. But life has a way of turning shortcuts into valuable life lessons.  Fast forward a few years to 2001. I had a small business and my partner ran off with our remaining $91,000, left the country and me with few options.

See where this is going? Crossroads? Decisions? I was at a crossroads and I was willing to listen to others. I received a call from a friend who had been selling Oracle software for a few years. He had made the switch from Oracle to Sage and was the Sales Manager at Sage’s largest partner.

He asked if I wanted to come to work for him selling software. I told him “sure” but I’d never sold software. He told me not to worry, he’d teach me everything that I needed to learn. Thus, my career in the world of software began. He left the company shortly after hiring me but I wanted to stay because I was really enjoying what I was doing.

The owner of that company became my first software mentor and even though I left his company I still consider him a friend today. Occasionally we get together for lunch (almost always sushi) and we catch up with each other.

When I left his company I was at a crossroads, I thought that it was time to take what I had learned out “into the world.” It wasn’t my best decision. The difference in this decision and the ones that I made when I was younger; was that I was making this decision to take better care of my family.

Since then I’ve had to make a lot of crucial  decisions, but that’s part of life, making decisions each and every day and the one thing that I keep in mind when I’m making those decisions is this, how is this going to affect my family?

One of the hardest decisions that I’ve had to make in the past year was my relationship with my son’s mother and how we both knew it was time for me to get my own place. I remember leaving the house that night and I was filled with a feeling of  “failing.” I sat in my car that night for a long time wondering how things had gotten to this. Since that night to right now I’ve grown more and as a result of that growth I have become a better person. I make sure that my wife has plenty of whatever she needs to continue to give the boys what they need and I treat her with the up most respect because no matter what she’ll always be their mother and I’ll always be their father and I’ll always be the father I never had. I don’t talk bad to the boys about their mother Why do I do this? Because it’s the right thing to do.  As a result of doing the right thing I get to spend quality time with them and that’s extremely important to me.

I was at a crossroads when I left the house and I had two roads to take, the first would have been the selfish one and my sons would have had to pay for that. The second and the most rewarding road is the one when I do things for other people because it’s the right thing.