Never Ask a Cancer Patient This……….

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I’ve heard strange questions or statements from people about being diagnosed with cancer. The following statement takes the “Heres Your Sign” Award for September. Let me know if you heard something better.

I ran into a friend at the grocery store a couple of weeks ago who I’ve haven’t seen in a couple of years. He said that he had heard that I had terminal cancer, I confirmed the rumor to which he replied “So when are you going to die?”

I think that this question falls under the heading of ignorant. I’m still stable & kicking.

Remember that no matter how Peter Bill Waynebad your life may seem at the       time there is always someone else who’s life is worse and your life will get better

the doctors continue to tell me that I’m stable

.

Bill

Let’s Go On An Emotional Roller Coaster Ride

Help Find A Cure For Liver Cancer

Help Find A Cure For Liver Cancer

I’ve always kept a positive attitude when it comes to my emotions, no matter what the situation is. Like most people I’ve experienced a lot of hills and valleys. But no matter what’s going to happen, what‘s currently happening or events that have happened I’ve always held steadfast to the belief that my life is going to get better.

This belief system has worked well for me for the better part of my life until the past thirty days or so,
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There are many stages dealing with a terminal disease. They include (and not in any order) anger, sadness, loss of interest in normal activities, fatigue, plus many others. Just getting me to the laptops and iPads almost takes an act of Congress and we all know how well things are working in D.C.

I’m currently in the deeply sad stage and because I’m not familiar with it I set an appointment with The UCSD Palliative Care. Their suggestion is to see a either a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I chose the psychologist because they don’t subscribe pills. I’m currently taking 20 pills daily and I’m tired of all the multi- colored, multi- shaped “magic pills.” and their side effects. Ooooh, those side effects, where do th

ey get those things?

Does it sound like I’m giving up? To some I’m sure it does but trust me when I say I’m not giving up. I want to live as long as I possibly to spend as much time as I can with my sons.Bill Diana Peter

I feel like I owe my readers an apology for this blog as it’s tone is dark but right now that’s I feel. I’m sure that things will change especially when I get to spend time with my boys this week.

Thanks everyone for your continued support. Tomorrow will be a better day.

Cancer Sucks

Liver Cancer PinThere are times in our lives that we’re dealt a hand that we’re not sure how to handle. It can leave one confused, angry, and sad. It can even make us mad at our Maker for giving us something that seems unfair.

I’ve felt all of those feelings in the past few weeks. The one overriding feeling that I’ve experienced the strongest is sadness.

I was diagnosed with live cancer recently and I have two small sons (10 & 12) whom I treasure. The thought that they should have to go through the rest of their lives without their Dad makes me tremendously sad.  I was raised without either parent so I know the feeling that goes along without a father’s influence. I’ve made every attempt to be a good father to them for that loss in my life. I know that I can’t make up for my life but it doesn’t stop me from trying to make their life better.

I’d been feeling exhausted and fatigued for some time and after my last blood work my primary suggested I get an ultrasound at UCSD

After a multitude of scans, etc. the doctors confirmed that there were multiple tumors in my liver, the largest is half a centimeter smaller than a tennis ball. The second largest is 4 centimeters and the other 3 are smaller.

What does this all mean? I’m not entirely sure but I do know no matter how brave of a front I put on, I’m afraid. I got more afraid after an initial procedure to reduce the size of the largest tumor failed due to the portal vein that was instrumental is 100% occluded. You bet I’m afraid.

Where does this lead us to now? Again, the answer is I’m not sure. I have another visit to UCSD scheduled for day after tomorrow to determine what’s next on the menu , but more importantly when and what do I tell my boys? I have them most of this coming weekend and how do I start that conversation? Hey Guys, Dad has cancer, who wants to go to the beach? I don’t want to break their hearts and shatter their dreams of doing the things that boys do with their Dads as they get older, but yet they deserve to find out something before they hear from their Mom, Boys, your Dad passed away last night, who wants to the beach?

I’d appreciate any feedback that someone may have that has gone through this. I wish that no parent would ever have to have that conversation with their children. It’s not right…it’s not right that loved ones have to stand by unable to do anything as cancer works itself through the victim’s body. I’m lucky because the woman that I love is a medical professional and sometimes I give her too much credit and forget that she’s just a human being with feelings like the rest of us, so to you I simply say I Love You for being the woman that you are and wish you didn’t have to go through this.